Jokes - Ek shaitan baccha unknown number se call karta hai.

Ek shaitan baccha unknown number se call karta hai..

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ek aadmi uthata hai.. Aadmi:" Hello..

Baccha:" Ullo pullo kullo !!

Aadmi:" Kaun hai be ??

Baccha:" Ek Insan

Aadmi:" Wo pata hai naam bol??

Baccha:" Main ek ganda bacha hu !

Aadmi:" Teri to esi ki tesi Kahaan rehta hai tu??

Baccha:" Prithvi pe..

Aadmi:" Wo to pata hai, phone kyu kiya ??

Baccha:" Tujhe pareshan karne ke liye

Aadmi:" Ruk saale..
apne baap ko bula! Chhakke ki aulaad..

Baccha:" Hello papa, main pappu.


;) ;) ;) ;) ;) 

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मुलांनो तुम्हाला सर्वात जास्त राग कोणाचा येतो?????

मास्तर : मुलांनो तुम्हाला सर्वात जास्त
राग
कोणाचा येतो?????
(बंड्या उठला आणि म्हणाला)
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बंड्या : राजाराम मोहनरॉय....
मास्तर : का रे बंड्या ????
बंड्या : कारण, त्यांनी 'बालविवाह' बंद
केला.....
त्यांनी बालविवाह बंद केला नसता तर
आज
आम्ही जोडीने शाळेत
आलो असतो .
आली लहर केला कहर...



बाबा - चंप्या पुन्हा नापास झालास? जरा त्या पिंकीकडे बघ. तिला नव्वद टक्के मिळाले आहेत.
चंप्या - तिच्याकडे बघत राहिलो म्हणूनच तर नापास झालो.



गुरूजी - सगळ्यांनी आपल्याला काय आवडतं ते सांगा. बंड्या तू सांग बरं.
बंड्या - मला कविता आवडते.
गुरूजी - वा वा. कोणती कवित
आवडते?
बंड्या - ती तिस-या बाकावरची.

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Mom- Girls very funny

आई मुलीला - अग ये भवानेकुठे होतीस रात्रभर …???
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मुलगी - अग माझ्या एका मित्रासोबत होते …
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आई - करून आलीस ना तोंड काळ …
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मुलगी - अग आई मग त्यात काय झाल … ???
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फ़ेअर & लवली
आहे ना …
७ दिवसात गोरी होते की नाही बघच …

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Itna Laad-Pyar Nahi Karte

Sales-man Ne Santa Ka Darwaja Khatkataya Aur Puchha

Sales-man: “Ji, Cockroch Ke Liye Powder Loge Kya?”

Santa: “Nahi, Hum Cockroch Ko Itna Laad-Pyar Nahi Karte, Aaj Powder Laga Denge To Kal Sala Deo Mangega“

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A driver is pulled over by a policeman- very funny

A driver is pulled over by a policeman. The police man approaches the driver’s door.
“Is there a problem Officer?”
The policeman says, “Sir, you were speeding. Can I see your licence please?”
The driver responds, “I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.”
“You don’t have one?”
The man responds, “I lost it four times for drink driving.”
The policeman is shocked. “I see. Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?”
“I’m sorry, I can’t do that.”
The policeman says, “Why not?”
“I stole this car.”
The officer says, “Stole it?”
The man says, “Yes, and I killed the owner.”
At this point the officer is getting irate. “You what!?”
“She’s in the boot if you want to see.”
The Officer looks at the man and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes, five police cars show up, surrounding the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
The senior officer says “Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please!”
The man steps out of his vehicle. “Is there a problem sir?”
“One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.”
“Murdered the owner?”
The officer responds, “Yes, could you please open the boot of your car please?”
The man opens the boot, revealing nothing but an empty boot.
The officer says, “Is this your car sir?”
The man says “Yes,” and hands over the registration papers.
The officer, understandably, is quite stunned. “One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving licence.”
The man digs in his pocket revealing a wallet and hands it to the officer. The officer opens the wallet and examines the licence. He looks quite puzzled. “Thank you sir, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a licence, stole this car, and murdered the owner.”
The man replies, “I bet you the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too!”

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Paagal … Itna pyar karta hai mere se

VALENTINES SPCL Three guys proposed a Girl
First Guy : I can die for you.
Girl : Everyone says that.
Second Guy : I can bring you a star from the sky.
Girl: Old dialogue.
Third Guy : I can give you my Facebook password, switch off my BBM and deactivate my Whatsapp
Girl (tears in eyes) : Paagal … Itna pyar karta hai mere se

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Funny Jokes ,Free Jokes of the Day

Judge Bandula mhnala: ” mi aaj aani aatche tula kothdit pathvat aahe.”
Bandu mahanala :-  ” prantu judge sahe charge kay aahe?”
Judge:- ” tu ghabru nakos..yethe kahi charge nahi….serv kahi free aahe “

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Teacher student jokes

Techer :- 'mai teri jaan nikal dungi"
ka future tens kya hoga?
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Studnt :- saali hath laga ke toh dikha
fir dekhna tera future kya hoga

student Rokes Techer shock

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Husaband Wife jokes- main apni arji vapas leta hu

Pati- aise jivan se to acha hai ki main mar javun , mujhe utha le prabhu

PAtni- bhgvan inase pahile mujhe utha le

Pati- bhgwan tu isaki sun main apni arji vapas leta hu.

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Pati -Patni Jokes msg

PAti- samane khidaki main jo tota-maina baithe hai, dono roj yaha aate hai

sang-sang baithte hai, khelte hai aur ek hum hai jo hamesha ladate rahate hai,

Patni- Tumene ek chiz pe dhyan nahi diya yaha baithne wale jode main se tota to roj vahi hota hai

par maina hamesha nayi hoti hai

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Very funny

चंप्या आणि चिंगी एकमेकांना खुप
दिवसांनी भेटतात,

आणि एकमेकांना आनंदाने
मिठी मारतात..
...
...

पण तेव्हा चंप्याला एक भलतीचं लहर
येते,

तो चिंगीचं व्याकरण चेक
करण्यासाठी तिला विचारतो..
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चिंगे मला एक सांग,

मिठीतला
\'मि\'
पहिला की दुसरा..

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चिँगीः पाचवा..

(चंप्या कोमात चिंगी प्रेमात)..

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Very funny Husband-Wife joke

एक मुलगा त्याच्या आई सोबत बाजारात जात होता.

मुलगा - आई यावेळी आपण सगळे फटाके याच दुकानातून घेवूया...

आई - पण हे तर मुलींचे हॉस्टेल आहे..
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मुलगा - बाबा तर म्हणतात सग़ळ्या फुलझड्या इथेच राहतात ...!!!
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SINGHAM Effect..

SINGHAM Effect..

 Dad:" Result kya Aaya ??
 Boy:" Aayi chya gavat, fail ho gaya
 Dad:" Besharam ! Nalayak..
Boy:" Kuch b karne ka mera ego hurt nahi karne ka..
 Dad:" Aaj se teri pocket money band..
Boy:" Meri zarurat kam hai.. isiliye mere zameer mai dum hai..
Dad:" Get out ! Boy:" Aata maaji satakli re
Dad:" Mujhe ab papa mat kehna
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Boy:" Ae Gotya .. Gotya .. Gotya..:p :O :D

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Boy friend Girl Friend jokes

Eka muline telephone Excahnge madhun aplya Boy friendcha number ghevun tyala phone kela.

to kontya tari mahilene uchalala.
Muline vicharle," Rakeshla phone dya "
te anghol karit aahet
te anghol karit aahet
pls tyana sanga tyanchya Girl freind cha phone aahe.

Jevha mulila barach vel Rakesh cha phon aala nahi tar tine punha phone kela.
ya veles matra purushane uchalala
"Mi Rakesh boltoy" to bolalala.
"Tu majha Boy freind nahis" Mulgi mhanali
Mala mahit aahe , hich gosthmagil ek tasapasun majya patnila oatvnichya praytna kari aahe.  

Marathi Words reading

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Aalu Bhindi ke Story

Aalu Bhindi ke Story

1 aalu ne Bhindi k number pe I love u ka msg beja,

Bhindi ne use phone kar k bura bhala kaha aur boli,

Shut up,,tum itne mote aur main Slim and Smart

Aalu ko bahut dukh hua aur us ne phir itni sabziyan phasaayi ki Aaj aap dekh skte ho,

Aalu-ghobi,

Aalu- bengan,

Aalu-Shimla mirch,

Aalu-palak,

Aalu-matar,

Aur Bindhi us din se aaj tak akeli hai.!!

MORAL: MAT KAR ITNA GURUR SURAT PAR AE HASEENA.
TERI SURAT PE NHI HM TO TERI SADGI PE MARTE HAI...

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25 diwasachi special offer..

25 diwasachi special offer..

Eka ticketat dusara vimanpravas mofat,
hi jahirat vachun bandu bavale 'Lutaru travel s chya
office madhe shirala.

"Tumhi amchya mumbai -New york fly it ch ticket kadhaych..
Tokio te Mumbai ticket free! sales Excutive ne utsahane sangilate

"Aho pan ek sahnka aahe . Mumbai hun New york gelyanantr tokiyo hun
parat yaych, tar new york hun tokiyola kase jayche?

"Madhale 25 diwas tysathich tr dilet na amhi "! ;-D

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“Battery Low”

Girl friend  to Boy Friend :

Are yaar tumne jo mobile gift mediya tha
wo mujhe kangaal kar dega :(
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Bf : mobile b mene diya
balance b mujhse dalwati h tu hamesha ? :P
fir kya sirf call receive krne se kangaal ho
jayegi ? :D
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Gf : Baar baar dikhaata hai “Battery Low”

;)

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